I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I currently don't understand fingers.
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