think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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