you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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