What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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