but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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