It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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