I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
