I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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