I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize