brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
