You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
