So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
