im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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