am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
