It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
