just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
