I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
