we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
