I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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