Don't you send me to vm
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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