I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize