Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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