you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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