your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
