I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
