he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
