come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
