Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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