I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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