i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm like, not good at living.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
