I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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