So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
