he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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