She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
