bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My vagina is officially offended.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
