how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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