He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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