I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize