How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
