all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
