Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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