The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
honey bunches of taint.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
