Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
