YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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