Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
