I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
