i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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