Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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