As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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