The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
