just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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