the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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