So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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