I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
