I cannot find my penis.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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