ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
