Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The struggles of a small town man whore
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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