Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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