I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm really busy with my period
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