Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wear drunk well.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
