Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
