Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
